Jumps, the crowd jumps,
hands float in the air,
following the loud music.
I move at their rhythm,
while a dark smile brightens my face.
that’s all I can do.
If only someone noticed
the grief in my eyes.
If only someone set me free,
free from this fake smile
free from this life.
Behind The Poem
Do you remember Avicii, the Swedish deejay who took his life in 2018? I have no idea why, but this morning I woke up thinking about his story. As if it was a natural consequence, words started flowing in my head, and the poem above is the result.
I have never been a fan of electronic music. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like it, but I tend to prefer rock. Despite that, I remember being very touched by the story of this guy.
Tim (this was Avicii’s real name) was a sensitive soul who loved music but found hard to cope with the things that the business he worked in required from him. He wanted to make music but being in the spotlight was damaging his physical and mental health. Unfortunately, the people who surrounded him refused to acknowledge that. His performances were worth millions and stepping back wasn’t convenient in terms of money.
Tim was an artistic soul, and that is certainly not easy. I know that for a fact, since I consider myself to be an artistic soul too. We are highly sensitive, we wonder about life, about its meaning. We feel the pain of the world so deeply that often we mistake it for our own. We absorb it like sponges and this, if not addressed properly, can damage us so badly that finding a solution becomes impossible.
Tim’s family, a few days after his death, released an open letter that stated,
‘Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul searching for answers to existential questions. An over-achieving perfectionist who travelled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress. When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be able to be happy and to do what he loved most – music. He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness. He could now not go on any longer. He wanted to find peace. Tim was not made for the business machine he found himself in; he was a sensitive guy who loved his fans but shunned the spotlight (…)’
I hope one day, the world will be able to accept sensitivity as a normal trait of people’s personality so that no one will ever have to suffer the same way Tim did, because we all deserve the opportunity to be at peace in this very life.