Where do I belong?
This question has been following me for some time now. I had to write an essay about it when I was in high school and it’s been stuck in my had since then. I guess it’s because I have never managed to find the right answer for it. Back then, I did what I was asked. It was the essay for my final exams, I had to. But I was only nineteen. Life basically started after those exams. What could I possibly know? Well, back then, I thought I knew, obviously. At that age, you think you know everything. The truth is, though, that so much happened after that day. I moved from my small village in Sardinia to London, one of the biggest cities of the West. I travelled, I worked, I met people from all over the world. And that, over the years, made answering that question, still stuck in my head, even more difficult.
Where is my place? Where do I feel at peace? Where do I feel safe? Where is it that I can take the mask off without fear? What is the place where I can be entirely myself and still feel good?
In other words, where do I belong?
I was (metaphorically) forced to think about that question again, today. I was watching a show on Netflix when I heard it. And of course, it resonated with me. I felt the sound of the words vibrate within my chest, right through my heart, and for the first time I had an answer.
We don’t belong to places. The question is misleading. That feeling of peace and safety we all long for, we can find it in an uncountable number of things. Sometimes it’s a sunset, some others it’s a smell or even a colour. For me it’s a person. And a dog.
Yes, of course, I haven’t discovered anything new. Our place can be a person, many had written about it long before me. Yet, the sudden realisation crossed my chest like a lightning through a clear sky. I lived in three countries, I changed many houses, I had to get used to new neighbourhoods, new people, new jobs, but those two things have never changed. Only those two things, my person and my dog. The only two things that made me feel like I belonged to every place I’ve been. The only two things that make me feel at home even when I am not. I knew it already, of course I knew it, but I had not seen it this clearly until today.
It’s a sweet realisation. It made my day.
© Brooxy Moon